


Anchor Me, Ground Me, Keep Me

by estriel



Series: August Break 2019 [8]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 21:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20181310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: Javi has a girlfriend. Or does he.Yuzu has a reliable team. Or does he.





	Anchor Me, Ground Me, Keep Me

**Author's Note:**

> Today's prompt for August Break was _ground_. Not sure I managed to really capture the prompt, but who cares, it's Yuzuvier fluff, right?

"I'm sorry, I’m very tired,” Yuzu says, bidding goodbye to the Team Cricket bunch. Gabby is pouting, but he just smiles and is about to give them all one last wave and disappear, when Javi suddenly gets up.

“Actually, I’ll be going, too,” he shrugs and easily bats off everyone’s protests.

“Fine, fine, be old and boring,” says Gabby, sticking her tongue out at them. “Yuzu at least skated, Javi, but you’re just a party-pooper.”

“I’m old and retired. I’ll leave the party to you young and fabulous ones,” Javi grins. “Good night,” he says. Then he follows Yuzu through the banquet hall and out into the lobby. Yuzu’s not sure what to make of it.

“You did not have to leave to make me look less bad,” he says and turns to Javi as they wait for the elevator. “Everyone knows me, I’m always boring.” He shrugs. He enjoys the banquets, but it is a lot to take in and after a while, he usually needs his quiet. Especially when he’s exhausted like now, his ankle still hurting and the recent disappointment of the silver medal even more so.

“You’re never boring,” Javi says and when Yuzu turns to look at him, he catches a small smile playing on his lips. The simple statement, along with the way Javi’s lips curve just so, makes Yuzu’s cheeks heat up. He quickly tears his eyes away, though. He’s always liked Javi’s mouth, and how quick Javi is to smile. However, staring at his lips when they’re about to share a very confined space together would perhaps send the wrong message. Or rather, that is exactly the message that’s on Yuzu’s mind, the thought of kissing Javi as pervasive as it has been for the past several years – at least once, just to know how it would feel! It is the right message. It would just be inappropriate, what with Javi’s girlfriend back in Spain.

Yuzu bites his lip and looks away, grateful that the elevator doors choose that exact moment to slide open in front of them.

He presses number five, while Javi selects the button with 8 emblazoned on it.

The ride is over faster than Yuzu anticipated, and he is almost glad for it. He is tired, and sore, and agitated now with Javi’s familiar scent filling the small space… and yet, the moment he steps out, it will all be over, and he won’t see Javi until several months later.

The doors slide open on the fifth floor. He takes a step towards them, but there’s that itch, the one that never quite leaves him when Javi is around, and he turns at the last moment.

“Do you want to – “ he starts, sticking his foot in the doors to prevent them from closing again.

“Maybe we could – “ Javi says at the same time.

Their eyes collide and then Javi bursts out laughing, and Yuzu joins in, relieved.

“Let’s go,” says Javi and motions for Yuzu to go first, then follows him out of the elevator.  


Javi whistles when Yuzu keys open his room.

“They gave me an upgrade,” Yuzu clarifies, embarrassed. He had not asked for a suite, he just wanted whatever everyone else got, but when he arrived, the hotel had informed him that _we are so honored to have you, Mr Hanyu,_ and _we would like to upgrade you to a suite, if that suits you? _ Yuzu had thought it would be supremely rude to decline, so here he is.

“It’s nice,” comments Javi, inspecting the spacious living room. “May I?”

Yuzu rolls his eyes at him.

Javi grins and makes himself comfortable on the couch, throwing his feet up on the coffee table like the barbarian he is. Yuzu has always loved that about Javi, how insouciant he could be.

He shrugs out of his jacket, folds it over a chair, then drops onto the couch beside Javi, working at loosening his tie.

“How are you, Yuzu?” Javi asks, turning to him, all warm eyes and open expression. Yuzu feels assaulted, disarmed. He has missed this, Javi’s easy camaraderie, the way he’d check up on him during practices, or after competitions. He didn’t quite miss how they make him feel, like he is a teenager with a crush, helpless against those eyes and long lashes.

He sighs, tossing his tie away, and toeing off his shoes. He lets himself sag against the backrest. “Kuyashii,” he responds, confident that Javi knows the word. “Disappointed.” And he is. Silver was not what he had come to Saitama for. A stupid popped quad sal even less so.

Javi nods. “That’s here,” he says, leaning over to tap two fingers against Yuzu’s forehead. “What about here?” he asks then, moving his hand so he can tap his fingertips against Yuzu’s chest where his heart is fluttering beneath his white dress shirt.

Yuzu closes his eyes. Of course Javi would know that what’s going on in his head is not what lies in his heart. They know each other well enough.

“Tired,” he admits. “Scared,” he says next, and that one is harder to voice. But it is the truth. His ankle is a mess, and he’s getting older. He is confident in his skill and ability, but his body… “But I am happy, too,” he confesses. This one is the hardest to say, the boldest, and he looks up just in time to see Javi’s eyes widen. “Because you are here.”

Javi’s surprise melts into a smile. He shuffles a little closer to give Yuzu’s shoulder a squeeze, his hand lingering for a moment in the crook of Yuzu’s neck, fingertips brushing against his skin. It makes Yuzu shiver.

Javi has always been like this with him, quick to touch, hug and comfort. Where it had shocked Yuzu the first few months they were training together – it was certainly _not_ the Japanese way – it now feels like… like wrapping a familiar blanket around himself, soothing, welcome, and familiar. Except, of course, for the tingle that Javi’s touch leaves behind, the thrill that has nothing to do with easy friendship and support, and everything to do with the fact that Yuzu is, sort of, in love with Javi. Sort of – or a lot. He has been for a few years now, truth be told. He just prefers not to dwell on it, because it’s not going anywhere, anyway. He had thought, briefly, that maybe it could, that maybe Javi felt the same – but that was back in 2016, after which Javi had withdrawn, suddenly all sparse with his touches… Until PyeongChang, anyway.

“I’m happy to be here, too,” Javi says, and Yuzu doesn’t know what to make of it. It’s probably just a friendly phrase, so that Yuzu is not the only one making a fool of himself.

“And how are _you_, Javi, all old and retired?” he attempts a joke. “And Marina, how is she?” He has to fight hard not to wince at that. Marina, beautiful and Spanish and very _female_, and Yuzu would hate her a little if he didn’t know that Marina or not, his feelings for Javi are a futile thing anyway.

Javi’s eyebrows shoot up. “Why would you ask that?” He shakes his head, a small frown on his face.

Yuzu looks at him in confusion. “She is your girlfriend,” he says. “I am… I thought it’s polite,” he adds, wondering if maybe this is something cultural that he is unaware of. It happens sometimes, still.

Javi looks at him for a long moment. “You really don’t know,” he says eventually, the words slow and careful.

“Know what?” Yuzu asks, discombobulated.

“Marina – “ Javi starts, shaking his head. “We’re not – She’s not _really _my girlfriend. I thought you knew.”

Yuzu feels like the floor has just dropped out from beneath him. “What?” he squeaks, and his voice sounds ridiculously high even to himself.

“We’re not really together,” Javi says, as if that made any more sense.

“But – why?” Yuzu stammers, staring at Javi as if he had just grown a second head. He had seen… well, he had seen _Marina_, tagging along in PyeongChang, posing with Javi in Instagram photos and stories, ever the perfect woman.

“We’re just friends,” Javi says. “She’s helping me out. To keep up appearances,” Javi says and rubs his hand over his face. “You know, to avoid suspicion. I thought that was wise.”

“But Javi, why?” Yuzu asks again. “I don’t get it.”

“Well, to get them off my back,” Javi sighs. “I thought you knew!”

“Why would I know this?” Yuzu is this close to throwing his arms up in resignation. This is… what is Javi even saying? It doesn’t make any sense, and it’s making his head spin – if this is true, then what is Javi? Is he single? Is he dating someone else? Why would he go to such lengths to make up a fake relationship? “And who are you talking about, _them_?”

“Your management?” Javi says, and Yuzu does a double-take, his mouth falling open. “They contacted me in – I don’t know, 2016? Told me to stay away? To keep your image all nice and clean? Told me that you federation and the sponsors didn’t like it, that I was,” Javi grimaces, air quoting, “_too intimate _with you. That it was _inappropriate_?”

“Javi,” Yuzu breathes, hand coming up to cover his mouth. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Then the anger flares up inside him. How dare they, how _dare _they do this to him – or rather, to Javi?! And behind his back! “I call right now,” he stands up, reaching for his phone. He feels the heat in his face, both mortified and livid at the same time. Then he realizes something.

“But – at the Olympics – “

Javi laughs, gives a helpless little shrug. “It was our last time, Yuzu,” he says, glancing down in a way that’s almost shy. “I wasn’t going to ruin that, not for anything. I got a nasty letter for that, for sure.”

“They have no right, I did not know – Javi, I’m so sorry! What did they – what did they say?”

Javi just waves it off. “It was – they claim they have some photos of me and Miki. I haven’t seen them. And honestly, I don’t care. But Miki has been through a lot of crap, and I didn’t want to do that to her. I’m sorry. I thought you –,” he stops, shakes his head, runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

“No!” Yuzu exclaims, coming back to sit down beside Javi. “No, Javi! _I _am sorry, is so terrible!” he says, and he knows his English is failing him as he gets more and more agitated. This is… unbelievable doesn’t begin to cover it. Yuzu doesn’t even have words.

He feels the tears prick his eyes, and he has to remind himself to breathe, it’s almost like he has forgotten how. “I will fire management right now,” he gets out, mind reeling. “Right now,” he repeats, but it’s just a pathetic little pant instead of the decisive statement he means it to be. He can’t breathe. He _actually _can’t breathe.

It hits him like a train, and suddenly he’s panicking. It hasn’t happened in so long, his lungs are so much better now with all the training and work he’s put in. He gasps for breath, and cold terror washes over him. He has no idea where his inhaler is.

“Ja-vi,” he wheezes, reaching for Javi’s hand to make himself understood.

“Yuzu?” Javi stares a second, then obviously connects the dots. “Shit!” Yuzu hears through the haze that seems to be descending upon him. He tries hard to keep the panic at bay. “Your inhaler?” Javi asks.

Yuzu shakes his head, toppling forward. Javi catches him, pulls him close until Yuzu’s forehead is resting on his shoulder.

“Okay, okay,” Yuzu hears Javi say. “Stay with me.” A gentle touch to his back, a hand running up and down his spine. “It’s going to be okay. Just breathe, okay? Just breathe,” Javi says and Yuzu hears the deep inhale he takes, then the long exhale. “Breathe with me, Yuzu, please?”

Yuzu feels a squeeze on his fingers, and it helps ground him, bring him a tiny bit closer to calmness. Still, his lungs feel like lead, and all his brain is frantically flashing him warning signs. _You’re going to suffocate_!, it seems to scream.

“In,” Javi is saying, drawing a breath, interrupting the voice of blind panic inside Yuzu’s head. “Out,” Javi exhales. Yuzu makes an effort to follow, focusing on Javi’s voice, on the deliberate breaths he takes. “In – out. That’s better.”

It feels like forever, but eventually, he feels his chest ease up. He opens his eyes and lifts his head a fraction, blinking when he finds Javi’s face right in front of his.

“Are you okay?” Javi inquires, hand coming up to caress Yuzu’s face.

Yuzu starts to nod, then changes his mind. “Not – not quite. Need rest,” he says, feeling small, and helpless, and not a little ashamed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, _cariño, _it’s all good,” Javi teels him, and Yuzu lets himself sag into his arms, the accumulated exhaustion of the previous days finally catching up with him. He doesn’t know what Javi says next, because it is in Spanish, but it sounds nice, like music, and he leans back down onto Javi’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you to bed,” he hears, and he feels like he should protest when Javi hoists him up into his arms, but frankly, he doesn’t have the energy.

Under normal circumstances, Yuzu would die of embarrassment at this – Javi unbuttoning his shirt, and undoing his belt, slipping his pants and socks off… And not at all in the sort of scenario Yuzu would have imagined, either, on those nights when he was desperate, and lonely, and letting his mind stray to places it really shouldn’t because – oh. Oh. The girlfriend. Not real.

“Javi,” he mumbles, feeling drowsy and stupid with it. “She’s not real. Are you single?” Yuzu knows he sounds pathetic, the way his voice – weak and raw around the edges from the near miss asthma-attack – rises on the last word, so full of hope and want. He nearly apologizes the next instant, but then Javi is climbing into bed with him, and Yuzu can’t focus on anything but the sudden warmth of Javi’s body behind him. He feels skin – Javi must have gotten rid of his jeans and sweater – and then the solid, reassuring presence of Javi’s body curling around his, holding him close, keeping him safe.

“Are you?” he repeats despite himself, a small desperate whisper, and feels the tears that want to spill pool in his eyes.

He feels Javi’s smile against his shoulder. “I’m quite taken, Yuzu, _cariño_,” Javi says, and Yuzu is about to panic, but then Javi kisses the sensitive skin at the back of his neck. “I have been for a while, actually,” he adds. “That is, if you’ll have me.”

Yuzu nods, and hears Javi laugh behind him as he nearly bashes his nose in with the enthusiastic head-bobbing.

“Javi,” he sighs, “I’m so happy you’re here,” he says, feeling heavy and lethargic. “Don’t leave,” he mumbles. “Will fire them all.”

He feels Javi chuckle. “Shh. You can do that in the morning. Now sleep.”

And Yuzu does.

He is not sure how it happened, but somehow, the nightmare of this World Championship, of his dratted ankle, even the earlier realization about his _team_ – somehow, the nightmare has, just now, turned into a dream.

Yuzu closes his eyes, drifts, and hopes he will never wake up from this one.

**Author's Note:**

> This is _not at all_ what I had planned. It was also going to be like, a quarter of the length that it actually is. Characters having their own mind, what can I do.  
I hope you enjoyed it anyway.


End file.
